I have an appointment. What does Chuck Bass do at 8 a. I do my cardio in the evenings. Morning is for business. You think the Humphreys have a crest? Maybe something Jenny can stitch onto one of my cardigans? Why do rich people insist on tiny food? Well, that's how they stay rich. They only buy small food.
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I figured out the split-screen! Now we can watch all four games at once. It is old Miss Blair, new Miss Blair. Like it was old Miss Serena, now new Miss Serena. Very hard to keep track. Do you know how exhausting it's been being Blair Waldorf for the past eighteen years? All the work, the planning. What happened to the Nate Archibald who just wanted to get high and play Halo?
I hate pretentious asshats who try to steal other people's girlfriends. It's just sometimes that my thoughts come so fast that I get confused. No, you're a shameless bitch. I always want to believe the best in you, Blair. The bottom line is, betrayal's in your nature.
What is your problem? My problem is a two-faced, four-eyed, devious little snipe in a fat suit. Ladies you can give your tiny brains a rest. Once again the world has proven that anything you can do, I can do better. I'm glad you're not wearing that raccoon makeup anymore, because you looked like one of the Incredibles. Miss Blair, your martyr act no good. With friends like these, who needs armies?
Dan's talented, but his confidence comes from a lifetime of encouragement and praise. I'm guessing for you birthdays rarely meant new pens and a notebook to fill with your ideas.
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Yeah, more like a Chanel wallet and a credit card to get me out of the house. Never in my 16, hours of schooling have I ever been sentenced to detention. I might've posted something on Gossip Girl. All the girls do it. It's how we communicate. Dorota, give Handsome to a homeless man.
Make sure he has kind eyes. I'm not going to Yale. I don't deserve you.
Witch hunts are my Valium, Serena. I'm just trying to stay calm. What if I don't get in? What if I do and Blair doesn't? Fire and brimstone and a lot of bitch asides? But this one will be different. Do you believe in my cause or not?
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I do, but your shenanigans? Planting coke in his gym bag, ambushing him with a transsexual hooker— C: They owed me a favor. I am so a better fit for Yale than that Rory. It's so hard finding obedient minions. There's gotta be some kind of precedent for this, right?
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And they made it work. I don't think I could sit through Showgirls again. Your dad wrote you a letter? You have to read it. Yeah, aren't you curious what it says. I think I can guess. I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't already. Why do you wear so much purple? Save me these expressive eyebrows. Chuck's body odor could've given a contact high to half of Manhattan. Nelly Yuki is the new old Jenny Humphrey. I frequently feed the ducks in Central Park. And read to blind children.
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But I am me and you are you. We're Chuck and Blair. The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through everything. And why would you do that?
Because I love you. Well, that's too bad. I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus. Chuck, am I going to have to stick my finger down your throat? I just thought sex was meaningful to you, that's all.
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Especially when I haven't had it in a long time. Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist. I love the Snowflake Ball. It reminds me of Anna Karenina , only by Anna Wintour. Please, I don't want to shine Mr. Chuck's shoes for month. His shoes if you're lucky. Oh, hello, weird documentary girl. Bye, sad Blair wannabe. How did you come up with these? I joined few groups. Remember, Serena doesn't share. Remember, Blair should learn to. Dorota, get it together! How did you get so wise? Don't you dare answer that BlackBerry, Dorota. She's gone through similar phases with Agnes, and she promises to call every day.
Dorota, are you insane? I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly is me.